see the King

I have dreaded today for… longer than I care to admit.

The fall semester was incredibly hard on me - physically, emotionally, professionally, spiritually, academically. I struggled to find a balance - or even believe one existed - between teaching my students well, completing my schoolwork well, taking care of myself well, and being a person outside of it all well. I feel like I did zero things well except survive. Bare minimum, people.

Thanksgiving break didn’t touch the exhaustion and overwhelm I felt, and I prayed that the weeks of Christmas break would be healing to all the burned out parts of me.

For the most part, it really was. I rested deeply, distanced myself from my phone (social media and email lure me in like moths to a porch light), and took time to do things I enjoy and say no to things I don’t. It was wonderful.

But it wasn’t enough to make the impending date of January 6 feel less daunting.

I prayed and prayed and prayed today, asking the Lord for the strength and motivation and whatever the heck else I might need to get through the day in one piece, because I knew from the get-go that whatever gumption I had wouldn’t be enough.

And He showed up. On Epiphany. A day when the Lord is revealed and made known.

I’ve only learned about Epiphany in recent years, how it celebrates the manifestation of Christ, the revelation of Jesus’ being God’s son as he was baptized in the Jordan.

I automatically loved the holiday, because it feels like it brings the Christmas season full circle. Also, because John the Baptist is part of the story.

Something about John the Baptist draws me closer to God, pointing me toward Jesus and how to be more like him. John was a bit of a weirdo, but he was faithful to what God called him to do, and I admire his faithfulness so deeply.

But John also wasn’t perfect. When he was imprisoned, he sent servants to ask Jesus if he was the Expected One or whether they should keep looking (Matt. 11:3).

John needed something to hold on to. He needed to know that the work he was doing was worth the struggle, the burden, the chains. He needed to know whether he had wasted his time, his life.

John’s role of preparing the way for Christ was crucial; that’s why God planned it that way. But John didn’t know that. He didn’t have a supernatural knowledge that this is exactly, 100 percent correct. He just had to trust what he heard from God and be faithful to that call.

My work, in the grand scheme of the world, is not *as* important as John the Baptist’s. I’m not preparing the way for the earthly, physical ministry of Christ. But I am doing kingdom work, and, whether you realize it or not, you are, too.

Whether we are energetic and delightful or burned out and borderline-apathetic, we are doing important work. God has called us to where we are for whatever season, and we have to trust that He will sustain us through it all. We have to believe that He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it (Phil. 1:6). It’s the only way we can get the job done.

I hope you found Jesus on Epiphany and that you continue finding him day in and day out. He is our light and our life, our Savior and Sustainer. There is no way through it all without Him.